[I still don’t understand what made your hands so sweet
molding gingerbread into pigs before devouring.
Why then did you consume my youth so harshly?
no crecimos con ningún papá bien
Did you forbid us from locked kitchen as you worked
so only one room could bear witness to your gentleness?
porque nunca estuvo casi con nosotros
When you were not judge, you were myth,
él estaba acá, iba para México
phantasmal father moving between two countries
tendertounged in neither, return always dreaded by hijos
pero no nos daba gusto
At 16 I joined you in bedroom of ten immigrants
and even in America you still wouldn’t bid me goodnight.
Gloría said, a veces no tienen el orgullo de papá de decir te quiero.
Still, somehow I find the pride or is it fear? to claim you with amor.]

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Angelina Leaños is a queer Latina and an M.F.A. graduate from Fresno State. A Ventura County Youth Poet Laureate emerita, Angelina serves as a member of the California Poets in the Schools’ Board of Directors. Her work has been published by Urban Word, Arkana, Poetry Daily, among others.

You can find her on Instagram @angelinaleanos